Laying the foundation
Caring for a loved one can be overwhelming, especially when you live apart. Remember you are not alone. Over 6 million Americans are long distance caregivers and we can learn much from what has helped them.
Start by creating a three-ringed notebook or purchasing an accordion file. Begin to gather important papers together in this binder: take notes record as you contact people, medical information (including names, addresses and phone numbers, medications and name of pharmacy), informal network (name contact information of your loved one’s support network) community resources, legal, financial and insurance information and miscellaneous (general travel info and whatever else you might need).
Constructing the support walls
Begin to identify family and friends who may help you. These could be church family or neighbors. Have specific ideas where they could be of assistance i.e. mowing the lawn, accompaniment to medical appointments. Who could you contact in the middle of the night in case of an emergency? Ask neighbors to stay alert for anything unusual. My
94-year-old friend simply opens her curtains every morning and closes them in the evening to signal to her neighbor that she is okay.
Purchase thank you notes to send to these support people.
Connecting the utilities
What professional support services are offered in the community? Begin your research by calling the local department of aging, the local health department, Alzheimer’s Association, or your loved one’s physician. The U.S. Administration on Aging provides a service called Eldercare Locator. To learn more call (800) 677-1116.
What services are available, such as transportation to medical appointments, home delivered meals, well being checks, friendly phone calling or home visiting, home health care, Alzheimer’s units, assistant living or residential care options?
Order a phone book from the area by calling the local telephone company.
Shingling the roof
Make the most of a visit to your loved one. Spend time with them to fully assess their conditions, strengths and needs. Make appointments with their physician, bank or financial consultant, pharmacist, lawyer, and support network. Ask if there are any health and/or safety concerns.
Gather all the necessary financial and legal paperwork. Review the power of attorney, living wills etc.
Do you have the most up to date medication list? Have there been any major changes in your loved one physically, emotionally or mentally?
Visit local resources so you can see first hand what is available such as assistant living facilities, home health care agencies, and nursing homes. If the community your loved one lives in doesn’t have something you are looking for, ask what resources a neighboring community or county may have.
Maintenance
Be prepared for emergencies. Begin to save for travel expenses if you would need to leave in a hurry.
Take care of yourself. Find a local support group. Do something positive for yourself.
Hold a family meeting. If you are not the primary caregiver, offer support to those who are.
If you are employed, what type of leave can your place of employment offer? Keep your supervisor informed on the situation.
Educate yourself about your loved one’s condition. Information can be empowering and help you cope with changes and behaviors.
Trust your instincts and rely on prayer. Most of the time you will be lead in the right direction.